The Pain Inside
by MaraBoBara
Summary: Can Ron and Hermione finally pull it together? And what happens when spiders come into the picture? RWHG DMGW and HPCC. A satyrical look at fanon. Rated M for mild sexual content and selfharm.
1. In Which Hermione Is Offended

**Author's Note: Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction! Please read, review, and tell me exactly what you think!**

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns these characters, the idea of Hogwarts, etc.  
**

Hermione dipped her quill in her ink bottle, scribbled the final end to her Potions essay, and pulled out her wand. "Rollupatus!" The scroll curled neatly into a tube in her bag. Everyone, even Hermione's closest friends, thought homework was her favorite thing in the world. If they only knew.

_But no one will ever know me_, she thought to herself, her tears beginning to mingle with her eyeliner.

"Hey Hermione, are you ok? Your eyes look kinda red and puffy" asked Ron, as Hermione hurried her way into the common room.

"I cannot believe you, Ronald! Don't think you can know me! Don't think you can judge me! Prat," she spat at him, as she turned around, ran back out the portrait hole, and into her private Head Girl's room.

Ron's POV

After Hermione's hasty retreat upstairs, Ron flung himself on the squishy armchair, knocking over our game of Wizard Chess. Bloody insane, that woman.

"You know, really, could you have been any more insensitive, Ron?" snarled Ginny.

"Yeah, you were a bit of a twit, mate…" said Harry, rearranging the chess pieces.

Ron growled. The thing was he wanted Hermione. He wanted her bad. When she'd come to his house that summer, his jaw dropped. She had certainly filled out nicely. Her hair had naturally become lightly wavy instead of bushy, she had a great looking arse, and to top it all off, she had grown to a 34DD.

"Mate, we know you want her, but by Merlin, you won't get her if you keep acting like this!" reasoned Harry.

"I know, Mate, you're right…" started Ron, "but it's like I can't help myself, like I have to be a jerk!"

"Well, I have to go check on her; she's probably crying her eyes out," frowned Ginny. With that, she ran upstairs.

Hermione's POV

After saying the password, "Erevu Mwanamke" ('smart woman' in Swahili), she barreled into her room and flung herself down on the black velvet bed. She looked up sadly at her black ceiling and flicked her wand to turn on her black CD player. She hated that she had to bottle up her feelings. Her life was horrible. Her parents never paid her any attention; it as all about orthodontia. Ron would never know how much she loved him, how much he hurt her. At this point, only music could understand her pain.

"_Look at me  
You may think you see who I really am  
But you'll never know me  
Every day, it's as if I play apart_

_Now I see if I wear a mask  
I can fool the world  
But I cannot fool my heart_

_Who is that girl I see  
Staring straight back at me?  
When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside? _

_I am now  
In a world where I have to  
Hide my heart  
and what I believe in_

_But somehow  
I will show the world what's inside my heart  
And be loved for who I am._

_Who is that girl I see  
Staring straight back at me?  
Why is my reflection  
Someone I don't know? _

_When will my reflections show  
Who I am inside?  
When will my reflections show  
Who I am inside?"_

She stumbled a little bit as she slid off of her bed. With black tears oozing down her pale face, she reached into a dresser drawer and pulled out a razorblade.

Right before she passed out, she heard Ginny at the door. But then everything was black.

**A/N: Yup, remember to review! I know it's kinda short, but I'll update soon! (The song is "Reflection" by Christina Aguilera.)  
**


	2. In Which They Have Hot Sex

**A/N: See, I told you I'd update quickly! Anyway, here's the next installment. I'm not sure how long this story's going to be, but I'll let you know once I have a guesstimate!  
**

** Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the world and characters this story is based on.**

Ron felt awful about how he'd treated Hermione. He finally decided to forfeit his Wizard Chess match with Harry and go apologize. He had headed out the portrait hole, down to the Head Girl's room, when Ginny came barreling out levitating an unconscious Hermione in front of her. He almost stopped Ginny to ask her what happened, but then he saw the improvised bandages tied around Hermione's wrist.

"Bloody Hell!" he shouted, as he fell in behind Ginny's jogging form. They burst into the hospital wing, and Madam Pomfrey told Ginny to set Hermione down on a bed and go eat dinner. Ginny obeyed, but Ron stayed and sat with Hermione as she slept. Madam Pomfrey said she was going to be ok, but Ron barely heard any of it. Hermione was opening her eyes.

"Ron," she said weakly.

"Why….why did you do it, Hermione?" Ron was trying very hard not to cry.

"You wouldn't understand, Ronald." She turned away, a bitter look on her face.

"I wouldn't understand? I wouldn't understand! Understand this!" Ron yanked up his sleeve so Hermione could see what looked like hundreds of spidery white lines, all over his arms.

"But Ron," she gasped. "Why? Your life always seemed so perfect!"

"I don't have you," he whispered.

Her eyes shone with tears as she pulled him towards her and covered his lips with her own. After about fifteen minutes, she pulled away. Ron moaned in protest, but Hermione whispered in his ear, "But you _will_ have me, Ronald Weasley. You'll have me in _every_ sense of the word."

Ron looked at her in shock. Surely Hermione hadn't been….surely she hadn't meant she'd….she'd shag him? But sure enough, she was sitting there, waggling her eyebrows sexually.

"Madam Pomfrey, I'm feeling much better now! Can I go?"

"Yes, of course, dear."

Ron and Hermione left together and headed toward the Great Hall for dinner, when Ron stopped them in the hallway. "Her-Hermione?…Well, I was thinking about it…and, well….willyoubemygirlfriend?"

"What?"

"I said," Ron took a deep breath, "will you be my girlfriend?"

Hermione smiled at him. He had no idea how long, how very long she'd been waiting for him to say those words.

She lowered her eyes and brushed his lips with her own, "Only if you stay with me tonight."

Ron gulped again. "Anything for you, babe."

The two set a new course, and skipped straight to the Head Girl's room, leaving dinner completely forgotten.

Then, they had hot, hot sex.

**A/N: Sorry, it's another short one, but that just felt like a good stopping point! School's starting again tomorrow, so I might not update right away, but I'll update soon. As always, read and review! **


	3. In Which Ginny Recites a Poem

**Author's Note: Ok, that was pretty snappy of me, if I do say so myself. Still no idea how long this is going to be, but no one has reviewed! Seriously, what's up with that, eh? Well, review!**

**Usual Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the characters and world that this story is based on. **

**  
**

Draco reclined against his headboard and smirked. As Head Boy, he had his own private room, right next to the Head Girl's. Judging by the cries of passion seeping through the connecting wall, he figured Granger had gotten her Weasel at last.

_Come to think of it_, he thought to himself, _it's been a good year for Weasels. She-Weasel has turned out nicely…too bad she's a Weasel._

At this point, Draco was just frustrated. Why was Granger getting some, and he wasn't? _That's just unnatural_, he shuddered as he stalked out the door. _Surely finding a quick shag won't be too hard. I'll just grab the first girl I see_, he thought to himself. _The first _hot_ girl_, he amended as Millicent Bullstrode walked by.

When he got to the deserted charms corridor, he saw a hint of red, shining like a beacon of sirenish-light, slip around the corner. He slid against the stone wall and peeked around the wall, sure enough, there was the She-Weasel with Colin Creevey (who was, incidentally, very buff) chatting away.

Suddenly he felt very protective. Deftly, he slipped his hand around Ginny's mouth and dragged her into an empty, unlocked classroom while Colin was looking the other way. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Ginny spat at him.

"What were you doing with that Colin boy, Ginny, baby, when you could be with me?" He sneered and went to rip open her top. Ginny lashed out at him, but he held her wrists fast. Using one well-muscled arm to pin down her hands, he used the other well-muscled arm to roughly pop open her blouse's buttons.

"Draco, stop," Ginny cried.

"Heheh, not until I've had my way with you," he snorted.

Summoning all of her famous Weasley temper, Ginny drew herself up to her full height and promptly kicked Draco in the balls. "You were right, Draco; that was fun." She began to storm away, when she heard a small whimpering noise come from behind her. She wheeled around, expecting to deliver another swift kick, but Draco was standing.

_Dammit_, Draco thought. _ I don't care if she's a Weasel. She's hot! And I care for her tenderly... _

"Ginevra," he stammered. "Don't go! I'm sorry! I….I think I love you!"

Ginny's eyes widened. _What does he want with me? He's a Malfoy, and I'm just a Weasley! Our families have a bitter blood feudy thing dating back to the land before time. Pull it together, Ginevra; he's just going to use you, like he does all his other floozies. But look at those eyes, those stormy-gray, calm-silver, liquidy-metal pools of hotness! They look so….honest. So trustworthy. But he's a Malfoy!_

Sniffling slightly, she turned to look at him dead-on.

"I hate you, Draco Malfoy.

I hate the way you call Hermione a mudblood.

I hate how you're a prat.

I hate how you sentenced Buckbeak to death.

I hate how you make life hell.

I hate how you demean my family.

I hate how you're a jerk.

I hate how you attain undeserved spoils through nepotism.

I hate how you're the epitome of evil.

I hate how you tried to rape me.

But most of all,

I hate how I love you.

I love you, Draco Malfoy."

With that, she flung herself into his willing arms. She smelled of apples. _Erotic_, he thought. "Ginny, you've made me the happiest man-boy-wizard in this school! This feels so right!"

"I know, Draco. We were meant to be! But….we can't tell anyone! My family would have a fit, Ron especially! I'm sure your father wouldn't like it so much either."

"Well, he'd probably beat me, but he does that anyway…ok, we'll keep our love a secret, but the day will come when we'll shout it from the rooftops!"

Ginny relaxed into his arms as they cuddled in the dark empty classroom, when it occurred to Draco. "Ok, so seriously though, what were you doing with Colin?"

"Oh, don't start being jealous, Mr. Malfoy. Colin's just the token gay guy!"

"Gotcha."

**A/N: Another one down. The next chapter should have more RHr action! Reeeeview! Please! It's my first fic and I'd really like feedback! Thanks!**


	4. In Which Draco Gets Ruffled

**Author's Note: Ok, seriously guys...This is getting ridiculous. I have one review, and while I love that reviewer (thanks a million!), that's not enough for a budding artiste to live on! Throw me a bone here! Review! I'm thinking of a total of like 15 chapters for the story. I might go over or under. Or through? Who knows.**

**Disclaimer: This story is bet on the characters and world created and owned by J.K. Rowling, and arguably Warner Bros. but I don't really know their licensing agreement, so I'll stick with J.K.**

The next morning Ron woke up to the sight of a beautiful naked girl next to him. The events of last night all came rushing towards him, and as he bent down to touch her hair, Hermione giggled sleepily and opened her eyes.

"I love you, Hermione."

"I love you too, Ron."

"Say that again."

"I love you too, Ron."

"Again!"

"No, this is silly."

"Fine. Anyway, what do you want to do today, love?" Ron asked.

"Oh well, I have an arithmancy paper, and I wanted to go to the Great Hall for, y'know, meals, obviously. I suppose we should also tell Harry and Ginny about us."

"Hmm, oh yeah, I suppose. Bet they'll be surprised."

"Oh, yeah, _defiantly_!"

The two took long, steamy, long, hot steamy showers, put on their casual-sexy robes, and walked out of the Head Girl's room. They turned a corner just to see Ginny hastily shove someone into a nearby classroom and smile at them.

"Hi, guys! Where were you last night? You missed dinner."

"Umm, Gin? Could you find Harry and meet us in the common room? We have something we need to tell you guys," Hermione carefully stated.

"Sure, you guys….just keep going….I'll meet you there…..in a sec," she offered.

"Gin, who did you just shove in that classroom?" asked Hermione.

"Oh, just some titchy little Slytherin," Ginny hastily replied.

"Oh, well that's ok then, because all Slytherins are gits. All of them," Ron declared. Hermione nodded sanctimoniously at his side, and Ginny watched the two retreat down the corridor and around the corner.

Once she was sure that they were gone, she deftly pulled none other than Draco Malfoy out of the classroom.

"What the bloody hell was that for?" he said, his gelled flaxen locks distinctly ruffled.

"That was Ron and Hermione out there, you twit! We _really_ don't want Ron to know about us," Ginny shouted.

"Ok, ok, Luv, whatever you want," Draco quickly apologized.

"Yeah? Well….you're just trying to get in my pants." Ginny playfully smirked up at him.

"You know it, Babe," he said. Ginny giggled as she ran off to get Harry.

Meanwhile, Hermione was wondering who Ginny had really been with. _It's obvious she was with a boy. Her hair was tousled and she smelled of boy cooties. But which one? In any case, I couldn't very well point it out to Ron! He'd have a fit. Unless it was….what if it was Harry?_

Ron said the password to get into Gryffindor tower. "Aranyérme." ('lion' in Hungarian) The two stepped inside the crowded common room and sat on the couch in front of the fire. After about five minutes of Ron and Hermione restraining themselves from snogging each other senseless, Harry and Ginny burst through the portrait hole and sat down in different armchairs. "What did you want to tell us?"

"Well," Ron started. He broke off, looking nervously at Hermione.

"We know this might come as a shock to you, but we wanted you to know that we're together now," Hermione rattled out.

Ginny and Harry looked mildly at each other. Then, Harry reached behind his armchair and pulled out a large whiteboard. Everyone in the common room seemed to be watching him. "Ok, everyone, settle down. Well, I have to hand it to Professor Trelawney; she was really close, but it looks like the pool is going to Mara, that witty and extremely beautiful sixth-year." The common room let out a collective groan of disappointment.

Ron and Hermione just looked at them, shaking their heads in smiling disbelief. "You guys!…"

Later that night, after a hearty dinner (and the completion of Hermione's arithmancy paper), Ron and Hermione lay in bed together in the Head Girl's room. After a night of celebrating, their minds were pretty relaxed. At least, they were until Hermione suddenly remembered something. "Ron, it….it probably won't make a difference, but I just realized that…..we didn't use protection…"

**A/N: Oooh...mini-cliffie! REVIEW! In the name of all that is decent, REVIEW!**


	5. In Which Ginny Takes a Shower

**Author's Note: Hey, sorry it's been a little longer than I intended to wait until the next post. AP History homework got in the way...it always does. In any case, here it is! ZOMG, Please review?**

**Disclaimer: Characters and Potterverse are copyright J.K. Rowling, not MaraBoBara.**

Ron's eyes bugged out. "What?"

"We didn't," said Hermione. "But it's not a big deal because we'll be of age soon anyway, and out of school. Plus, there's a good chance I'm not pregnant. I mean odds are that I'm not…Ron, are you ok?"

"I….yes…I…." Ron stuttered as he grew pale.

"Let's just assume I'm not, k?" She eyed him curiously.

"…Ok." He took a deep breath, forced a smile, and linked arms with her as they tried to fall asleep.

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Ginny looked at the tall, muscular blond laying next to her asleep. He looked so peaceful and adorable and so on in his sleep. She shook him gently, but he didn't stir. She frowned and poked him hard in the chest, but he still didn't wake. Finally she leaned down and whispered a dirty limerick in his ear and he sat up with a start.

"Bloody hell, Ginevra, what a way to wake a guy up!"

"Wake up, Drakey," she said wiggling her hips seductively on her way to the shower. "We have a big day today."

He had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her swaying hips, but he said, "Why? What are we doing today?"

As she slipped into the bathroom, she winked and said, "Today, we're going to tell my brother about us."

Suddenly he was very awake. "Ginny, what? I thought you didn't want anyone to know!" He pounded on the bathroom door. "At least let me in so we can talk about this…..or have sex in the shower?"

When Ginny emerged she told him how much it hurt her that her fourth favorite brother (1st was Charlie, 2nd was George, 3rd was Bill, 4th was Ron) didn't know about the most earth-shaking relationship she'd had in her life. Especially when he and Hermione had just come out of the proverbial relationship closet.

"Well, I can't pretend I like it," Draco started. "But I'd do anything for you, Baby, even if that means being castrated by the Weasel-King. That's just how tenderly I care for you."

"Oh, Draco, you're a prat, but you're _my_ prat!" She kissed him with a passion.

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Ginny walked nervously into the Gryffindor common room. Predictably, Harry and Ron were playing Exploding Snap by the fire, with Hermione nearby reading a book called _You Can Find Me in the Club: a History of Basidiomycota_. She gingerly walked up to them and said, "Hey guys!"

They swiveled around one by one. "Oh, hey Gin!"

"I…um, well, I have something really important to show you. But when I show you, you have to promise not to freak out, ok?"

"Ok, Gin, we promise," ventured Hermione while the boys threw each other puzzled looks.

Ginny walked back to the portrait hole, opened it in, and dragged in a bewildered Draco Malfoy. "Guys, meet my new boyfriend, Draco." Draco waved feebly.

Hermione fainted. Ron rushed to fan her. Harry seemed to be expanding into a red mass of wizard-angst.

"GINNY, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF? HE'S A MALFOY! HE'S A DEATH EATER! YOU HATE HIM! WE HATE HIM! DON'T I MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? WHAT ABOUT MY WANTS, HUH?" Harry bellowed.

"Harry, you lost your shot at me long ago. I love Draco and Draco loves me and nothing can keep us apart until the end of time…plus infinity."

"Ron, mate, say something, this is ridiculous. I know you're pissed, man. You gotta stop her."

"Actually," Ron said, stepping forward to look into Ginny's eyes, "I don't like it. But it's love. I can see it in her eyes. Good for you, Gin." Now he turned to Malfoy, who recoiled. "If you hurt her, I'll karate chop you or something….so don't. But, if it couldn't be Harry, I'm glad its you, mate." He clapped him on the back.

Hermione raised a head from the couch, "Oh, Ronald, you're so mature! It's so hot! Nothing but happiness, Ginny!" She then lowered her voice, "Ronald, you sexy, mature beast, come over here." Ron pranced over for his reward, and everyone looked away in disgust as they began to make out on the couch.

"Wait, wait, wait," interrupted Harry. "Am I the only one who sees that she's next to Malfoy? MALFOY? Ring any bells? Enlarged Hermione's teeth? Sentenced Buckbeak to death? Tried to get Hagrid sacked? IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DUMBLEDORE'S DEATH?" Harry was fuming.

"Dude, those things are in the past. You gotta roll with the punches, go with the flow. I'm not a Death Eater anymore, k?" Draco shrugged.

"That's not the….it hardly matters what…..ARGH WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH THIS BUT ME? I'M GOING TO GO BROOD!" With that, he stalked off to the astronomy tower.

"Don't you guys like….go after him or something?" asked Draco.

"Oh, he's just being a baby," said Hermione. Draco shrugged and turned to Ginny.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," he whispered.

She giggled. "Oh, just wait till you meet the rest of my family."

He looked frazzled, but leaned in to kiss her. And if anyone had cared to peek into the Gryffindor common room that night, they would have seen the dying embers illuminating four teenagers, very much in love, having hot make-out sessions.

**A/N: Oooh, what do you think? Please please please review for me? Kthxbye!**


	6. In Which Colin is Chiseled

**Author's Note: Thanks to my, what is it now, four reviewers? You guys are awesome, the rest of you need to get with the program and review! Does everyone remember where we were last time? Brief recap -- Ginny had told the trio about Draco. Ron and Hermione are good with it, but Harry storms out and is not seen until right about now.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter (which I definitely don't), I would be...rich or something.**

Harry spent that night awake down by the lake, scowling and occasionally throwing rocks at the giant squid. It just wasn't right. It wasn't normal. A Weasley and a Malfoy? And Harry's Weasley to boot? Why did it just bother him? It wasn't that he was jealous. _I mean, Ginny looks great. That red hair and those brown eyes and that ass. I mean, girl, she looks good when she backs that ass up, but it's just not for me….._ He scowled some more as he drifted to sleep.

"Harry!" Harry pushed away the person nudging him without even opening his eyes. "Harry, it's morning! You're by the lake! You need to wake up before a teacher sees you, or you'll get in trouble!"

Harry blearily opened his eyes. "Colin? What time is it?"

"It's like five in the morning," Colin grinned. "I'm out for my morning jog, found you here snoring away! Why aren't you up in the tower, mate?"

Harry looked at him darkly and rubbed his eyes. "Ginny just told us that she's dating Malfoy, and Ron and Hermione are too wrapped up in themselves to see what a bad, bad thing that is."

Colin had changed a lot over the summer, and now he sat down next to him in his short running shorts, his long and muscular legs glistening in the dawn's early light. He ran a tanned hand through his shaggy blond hair and looked at Harry with his very clear blue eyes. Harry found himself rather flustered as Colin scooted towards him. "Hmm, I thought something was going on with Ginny and Draco. Well, maybe they will be ok. Maybe he really has changed."

"And maybe all Voldemort ever wanted was for me to have tea with him," Harry groaned sarcastically. "He's a Malfoy! He has to be a Death Eater! Besides that, though, he's known as the Slytherin Sex-God'! He's just gonna use Ginny for hot sex and then throw her away!"

Colin chuckled, "Oh yeah, the Slytherin Sex-God. I have heard he's good in bed." Harry looked like he didn't know whether or not he wanted to ask where Colin heard this. He was, after all, a good friend of Ginny's. Harry was about to ask, but then Colin put his chiseled arm around Harry's soldier. "Ginevra's a big girl. She can handle herself."

Harry blushed at the close contact. Everyone knew that Colin was gay, and that didn't bother Harry normally. _Except that I'm straight and he's way close, _Harry thought_.…But then why does this feel so comfortable? _ Harry and Colin spent the rest of the morning chatting until breakfast, completely forgetting Ginny and Draco.

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Speaking of Ginny, she was, at that very moment, leaning against a damp stone wall in Myrtle's bathroom, forgetting about Draco herself for awhile. "Hermione, why did we have to do it here, anyway?"

Hermione paced in front of her nervously. " Come on, Ginny, do you really think that I want anyone to know I'm doing this?"

Ginny blushed. "I guess not. Sorry, Hermione. When will it be done, though? I mean how long do pregnancy tests usually take?"

"It should be done in another minute or so."

In truth, Ginny was surprised that she was even in this position. _Hermione is the Head Girl, the most organized person I know. And Ron was one of the least mature. Plus, they are always fighting. I don't see how they could handle a baby, but maybe they can pull it off. Let's hope to the gods its not an issue._

"Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"Yes?"

"If….if the test is positive, will it have been worth it?"

Hermione looked confused. "You mean the sex?"

"No, no, no! I mean….would my brother….would Ron have been worth it?"

Hermione smiled. "Absolutely." Just then the timer went off with a loud and obnoxious buzzing. "Well, I guess I'll go check it then." Hermione hesitated, wiping her sweaty palms on her size 00 jeans. She walked over to the sink and picked up the test.

She looked over to Ginny, but Ginny could tell what the test read by the look on her face.

"It's positive."

**A/N: I just couldn't leave you guys with a cliffie. It would have been too mean. I know this chapter's rather short but I'm gonna post another really soon. They were originally one long chapter I split into two. I think that's better, but maybe not? You tell me. Review! **


	7. In Which Spiders Are Introduced

**Author's Note: Hey, guys! I'm sorry I didn't get around to updating as quickly as I'd hoped. Still, at least I didn't leave you with a cliffie! Anyway, this chapter is where the main storyline begins. It's a little weird, but I hope you'll bear with me. Don't forget to tell me what you think! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I'd teach that sexy beast a trick or two...yeah, but I don't.**

Hermione was crying. She didn't know whether they were sad or happy tears. She had always wanted a baby. Ron's baby. But it's just that he seemed so scared when she had mentioned that they forgot to use protection.

"Herms," Ginny said. "I think you're reading way too much into this. I'm sure Ron was just alarmed at the idea of being a father so soon, but he'll get used to it. Fast." She cracked her knuckles threateningly.

"B-but, what if he just doesn't love me?" She wailed. "Or his child?" she added, placing a protective hand over her still uber-flat stomach.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "It'll work out fine, Hermione. I mean, its not really like you're too young for this or anything."

"True," Hermione mused. She stopped sobbing and fixed her make-up. "Well, let's get out of this dreadful bathroom, at least."

Ginny nodded, and the two girls headed towards the Gryffindor tower. The common room was empty, so they slipped up to Ginny's room unnoticed. Hermione sat on the bed and thought while Ginny sorted through her large and amazing wardrobe. _How am I going to tell Ron?_

Ginny threw on her school robes and used safety pins to make the robes fit tight against her curvy body. Then, the two headed down to the Great Hall, where they found three shaggy male heads shoveling food into their mouths like it was going out of style. Ron looked very glad to see the girls. It didn't look like either Harry or Colin had been talking very much to him. Instead, they were talking to each other. Ginny giggled as she sat down. Hunky Colin was flirting with Harry, and Ron didn't even realize it. However, Harry looked almost as confused as Ron.

Ron kissed Hermione lightly as she sat down on the bench next to him. She bent down to his ear. He could feel her warm breath. "Can we take a walk? I want to talk to you." Ron looked confused, but followed her as he left the Great Hall and walked out onto the vast Hogwarts grounds.

They sat down by the lake. Hermione started to nervously throw pebbles in the water. Ron might be a little thick sometimes, but he could tell when something was wrong. He started to panic. _Oh gods, I hope she's not breaking up with me!_

"Ron," she started. "I….well, I…."

Ron grimaced. He could almost hear the awful words on her tongue, _I think we should see other people._

"I'm pregnant."

Ron stared blankly at her. "Wait. What? You? Pregnant? Baby? Us?"

Hermione sighed, "Yes, Ron. I did the test this morning…" She looked up at him. He no longer looked concerned; he looked angry. He picked up a large rock and hurled it into the lake. For the second time that day, Hermione began to cry. "I knew it. You don't love me or our child! You're nothing but a….prat, Ronald Weasley! A prat who does badly in school and…and…eats a lot!" She got up from the ground and began to run away.

Her last comment stung, but I can't just let her go! Ron raced after her, his lanky legs and toned Quidditch body catching up to her in no time. "Mione, listen to me," Ron started. "I love you, but…there's a problem with us having a baby. Here, sit down. It's a long story…"

"I was about nine years old. Fred and George had been making all sorts of concoctions with their new Junior Potion-Master Kits. Well, all of the ingredients that came with the kit, but I guess they stole some timore from Mum's medicine cabinet. In any case, they added it to one of their mixtures and dared me to try it. I wasn't gonna do it, but after a while I couldn't stand them taking the mickey out of me. Finally, I tried it. I fainted immediately. Dad went through all the ingredients they put in the mixture. Somehow they ended up making the rare Velenobambino Ragno potion."

Hermione gasped. "I've read about that! Doesn't that…doesn't it?"

Ron nodded solemnly. "Yes. The Velenobambino Ragno potion turns your first-born child into your greatest fear. In my case, that would be spiders. So, Hermione….it's not that I don't love you, and it's not that I don't want to have children with you…but the truth of the matter is, we're going to have a bloody spiderbaby!"

"A…a…..spider….spiderbaby, no! It can't be! No!" She started to shriek and thrash against him, beating him with her tiny fists until he backed her up against a nearby tree and pinned her hands over her head.

He kissed her gently. It was an unsure kiss, but it calmed her slightly just the same. Two pairs of honey brown eyes found and stared at each other. "Yes, Mione…a spiderbaby." He let her hands fall down to her sides and hugged her. All the while she was thinking, _He doesn't want this. What am I going to do? My life is over because I'm having a spiderbaby!_

"But, but isn't there something we could do! Some spell to counteract the potion? Anything?" Hermione squeaked out desperately.

Ron shook his head. "The only protection is birth control." _Hindsight is twenty-twenty._

"I'm sorry, Ron…I have to go." Hermione said as she sprinted as fast as she could back to the castle, just barely containing the tears that threatened to burst from her eyes.

**A/N: Alright, that's it for now! More soon! Review pleeeease! Love to all my reviewers! **


	8. In Which They Drink Earl Grey Tea

**Author's Note: Seriously, guys...no reviewers on the past two chapters? What's up with that? Seriously. It makes me incredibly sad. Anyway, here's a fun chapter. If I get REVIEWS, I'll post the next chapter really soon.**

**Thanks so much to the reviewers who have reviewed in the past (I realized I never got around to thanking you, sorry!): DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva, HellionKou, Emily, Bryanna, Michela, Amanda, and dominoharvey.**

**Disclaimer: If you told me, "So, you own Harry Potter, right?" I'd tell you, "I never knew people like you could read..."**

Flinging herself on the black velvet bed, Hermione thought back to that night weeks before, when she'd almost finished what she started_. Everyone would've been better off if I'd succeeded_, she thought bitterly as she turned on her favorite muggle music.

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight  
And I can't STAND the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't STAND the pain_

_How could this happen to me  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

_Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again  
So I try to hold  
On to a time when  
Nothing mattered  
And I can't explain  
What happened and I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't_

_How could this happen to me  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

_I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

As she walked over to the bureau drawer she hadn't opened in weeks, she thought of how good it would feel, all the evil in her bubbling out. She just had to relieve the pain. _And once all my pain is gone forever, there would be no spiderbaby problems. Ron can go along his merry way and have sex with other women who use birth control and don't have spiderbabies like me. I hate myself, and I hate this pain inside…_

With that final thought, she closed her eyes, and raised her hand to bring the six-inch razor blade down on her arm. She looked with grim satisfaction at the crimson blood on her milky white skin.

But right as she was about to make the cut deeper, her door fell down with a large blast.

"Ginny!"

"Seriously, Herms…how many times do I have to find you like this?" The girl with the flaming head tore a strip of fabric off her robes, and wrapped Hermione's wounds up. Hermione was sobbing.

"Gin, just let me go! He doesn't love me! He doesn't love our baby! And who would? It's a spiderbaby! What's wrong with me????"

"'Herms, he loves you. Now, let's go get some tea," Ginny said.

Hermione nodded mutely and followed her out the door to the kitchen, where Dobby was waiting with a comforting mug of Earl Grey.

"Whoa, mate…..so….spiderbabies?" Harry asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, mate… bloody bleedin' spiderbabies," Ron sighed resignedly.

"You know, mate, you're really calm about this. Like you knew it was coming…"

"Well I've known about the potion since Dad told me its effects…you know, when I hit puberty….that was a bit of an awkward conversation." Harry let out a low whistle.

"But you don't love Hermione any less, do you?"

"I could never love her less, mate. It's my bleeding bloody brothers' faults, or maybe my fault, but definitely not her fault."

"Wow," said Harry, looking mildly impressed. "It looks like Ron Weasley has grown up."

Ron whirled around to look at Harry. "Harry, have Hermione meet me in the Room of Requirement at 8 tonight. I have a plan." Harry looked at him strangely. "Don't look at me strangely, Harry. Just make sure she's there. On time. Alone. Get Gin to help you. I'll be back soon."

And with that, he sprinted off across the Hogwarts grounds, his long Quidditch-toned legs carrying him quickly, leaving Harry shaking his mussy black head in the distance.

"Guess I better find Gin."

Back at the castle, Harry went to the Gryffindor common room, where Colin was taking glamour shots of all the girls, but as much as Harry was interested in that, he instead ambled down to the Head Girl's rooms. Maybe Gin was with Hermione. When he got there, he found a note taped to the door:

_To Harry and the Git:_

"I assume she means Ron."

_Hermione was cutting again. The spiderbaby thing, you know. Anyway, Dobby's hooking us up with some tea, if you know what I mean. Come on down to the kitchens, unless you prats are going to be gits. In which case, leave us alone._

_--Gin_

And with that, the Boy-Who-Lived trudged down to the kitchens. He tickled the pear on the portrait, and stepped inside. Ginny was patting Hermione on the back, but Hermione looked like she had laced her tea with firewhisky, the way she was teetering on her stool and slurring her words.

"Where's the Git?" Ginny asked.

"Why do you keep calling him 'the Git,' Gin?" Harry asked.

"Hullo! Herms! Spiderbaby! Didn't tell her! GIT!" she bellowed.

"Ok, ok, ok." Harry cast a questioning look at Hermione. "Is she ok?"

"Oh yeah. She's just pregnant, alone, and drunk. She's perfect."

"Well," said Harry, not picking up on the sarcasm, "Ron's not here because he went out on a quick errand—"

"Git…"

"—but he'll be back soon, and he wanted us to bring Mione to the Room of Requirement at 8…I suppose that will involve us brewing a sobering potion," he finished.

Ginny just nodded dumbly. _ Is my brother really so insensitive to go out shopping _now_? We're _so_ not related. _She helped Harry lift Hermione off the stool, as he carried her back to the Head Girl room.

Meanwhile, Ron was slipping back down the One-Eyed Witch passageway as quietly as he could. He checked his coat pocket for the umpteenth time to make sure the small brown package was still there. It was, of course, he was just being weird and nervous. As he hopped out of the passageway and into the corridor of Hogwarts, he looked around to check for Filch or Snape, and then proceeded to the Room of Requirement. _I have a lot of work to do before tonight._

**A/N: Ahhhh! Cliffie! I know this is a dirty, dirty trick, but I'm just that kinda girl, so here it is. REVIEW and I'll post the next chapter quickly! I promise! I'd like to break 10...that would be nice. At least one review! Come on!**_  
_


	9. In Which Harry and Ginny Are Subtle

**Author's Note: Now was that so hard? All I have to do is threaten you with a good cliffie, and it does the trick! LOL! Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter (Leafpool, TheDivaDivine, and DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva). This chapter is chock full o' dialogue, btw. Well, remember to review or I might have to throw in more cliffies!**

**Disclaimer: The Potterverse belongs to J.K. Rowling and the various people/companies she sold the rights to. **

"OW!" Hermione yelled, her hand flying to the handprint on her cheek.

"Sorry, Herms, but you weren't waking up," Ginny started apologetically.

Hermione grumbled and pushed herself up slowly. "Well, my head is killing me."

"Take this," interjected Harry. "It's a hangover remedy."

"Where did you learn to make this?" Hermione eyed him suspiciously.

"Hey, the Boy-Wonder isn't allowed to have a wild night or two?"

Hermione snorted and gulped down the potion. "I'm sorry guys. This spiderbaby thing….it's just too much, y'know?" Harry and Ginny patted her on the arm.

Harry glanced at the clock. "Hmmm….look at that, almost seven o'clock!…I have an idea! Why don't we get all dressed up and go for a walk?"

"Wha—" Hermione started.

"Harry, that's a great idea! Hermione and I will go get ready!" Ginny interrupted, picking up on Harry's meaning. "C'mon, Herms!" With that, Ginny dragged a very confused Hermione up the stairway to the girls' dorms. They ran into the Head Girl's room. Hermione, still getting over her hangover, sat limply on the bed, while Ginny blazed through Hermione's wardrobe. "Gosh, Herms, don't you own a single sexy garment?"

"I…" Hermione began.

"Nope! Come with me!" Ginny grabbed Hermione's hand and dragged her down a level to the 6th year girls' room. Ginny hurled Hermione on the bed and flung her bureau open. "Ta-dah!"

Hermione gasped. She had known Ginny liked clothes, but now she saw that she had never really known the extent of it. "Bloody hell, Gin!"

"You've been spending too much time with my brother," the younger girl snickered. She wheeled around to face the majestic bureau once more. She had to pull out something sexy, something sophisticated. Ginny didn't know for sure, but she had a feeling it was going to be a very special night for her friend. After a few tries, she came up with the perfect outfit: a lime green halter top, a piano-keys tie, and a hot pair of medium-blue chickpants with a large white belt. She piled Hermione's hair in a cute messy bun on the crown or her head, and applied glittery silver eye shadow over copious amounts of dark black eyeliner. She performed a quick French manicure spell on Hermione's nails and spun her around to face the mirror.

"Gin….I….I'm beautiful!"

"Of course you are, Hermione; you always have been."

"You're not going to tell me why I'm all dressed up, are you?"

"Nope."

"So I shouldn't even bother asking, right?"

"Right!….Hey, what do you think?"

Hermione spun back around to see Ginny wearing a white cami over a purple mesh long-sleeved shirt, complete with a bright pink mini skirt that clashed magnificently with her flaming-red fiery hair. "Ginny, you look pretty hot yourself."

"I know. I'm meeting Draco after our walk."

"Oh, you two are such a cute couple!"

"Thanks. Shall we go see if Harry's ready for us?" The two descended the staircase into the common room, where they found Harry waiting for them in a pimp suit. "Haha, very nice, Harry!"

"I'm not even going to ask why you have a pimp suit," Hermione said.

Harry just shrugged. "Strange things happen in the Dursley house. Anyway, shall we go for a walk?" He checked his pocket watch quickly. 7:45. Right on schedule.

"You guys, I know we got all dressed up and everything, but I really just want to lie down. I'm sad and hung over and no one understands my pain," Hermione said.

"NO!" Harry and Ginny yelled together.

"Err….we mean a walk would really be good for you. Please come with us?" Ginny said, with a slightly manic look in her eyes.

"I…I guess?" Hermione said hesitantly. This was all the answer Harry and Ginny needed; they yanked her out of the common room and into the corridor. Harry took a lady in each arm, and they proceeded to amble down the hallways. And even as Harry was talking to Mione about how cute her outfit was, he was aware that Ginny was leading the trio up to the seventh hall corridor and the Room of Requirement.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ron was pacing around the Room of Requirement. _What will Hermione say? Gods, I've never been so nervous._

Then, he heard Harry's familiar voice from out in the hallway mumble something (probably not anything very nice) about Malfoy. Then Ginny burst out, "Oh crap, Herms! I just realized that Draco wanted to meet me at 8, not 8:30! I gotta scoot a boot to the astronomy tower!"

Then he heard Harry say, "Is it 8 already? I told Colin I'd meet him! He wants to take pictures of me…..I mean, because I'm in my pimp suit, of course." (This caused Ron to raise an eyebrow.)

"Oh, well I guess I'll just go back to the common room, then…"

"**NO!** Err….we mean, why don't you hang out in that room right there?"

Ron would have laughed if he hadn't been so anxious. _Harry and Ginny sure are subtle._

"What is with you guys tonight?" Hermione sounded so confused, he had to smile a little bit.

Harry let out a very audible sigh. "Just trust us, Hermione. Go into the freakin' room."

The doorknob turned slowly. "_Mumble mumble_…don't know why they're so strange…_mumble mumble_….dropped on the head as babies…._mumble mum_—whoa!"

It was perfect. There was a beautiful red table set with her favorite champagne. Romantic music, piping in through a large old gramaphone in the corner. She looked up to see that the ceiling had been enchanted to softly shower them with rose petals. But by far the best part of all was Ron gently taking her hand and leading her into the middle of the room.

_Wow, she looks so beautiful,_ he thought, as he took a deep breath and said the words he'd been practicing for hours. "Hermione Emily Granger, will you marry me?"

Hermione smiled sadly, looking down. "Oh, Ron. I do love you, but the only reason you want to marry me is because of the spiderbaby. You'll hate it. You'll hate me. I don't know if I can deal with you hating me."

"Oh, Hermione," he took his face in her hands. "I could never hate you. And I could never hate our baby, spider or not." He got down on one knee and took the simple but large ring from his jacket pocket. "Marry me, Mione. Make me the happiest wizard alive."

She was crying now, what he only hoped were happy tears. "Oh, Ron! Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" Her lips collided with his in the sweetest kiss either of them had ever known. As the couple started to slow dance, two others were smiling just outside the door.

* * *

"Well, Ginny, it looks like our job here is done."

"It would appear so, Harry. I guess we should leave them alone now and go where we said we were going to go."

"Are you _really_ meeting Draco? _Really_?"

"Yes. Harry, but I don't see why it should bother you. You shouldn't keep your own _date_ waiting….bye!" She smirked as she pranced away, leaving a very speechless and befuddled Chosen-One in her wake.

**A/N: READ AND REVIEW! Tell me what you think! This is not the end of the story! There's much more to come! **


	10. In Which Draco Likes to Nibble

**Author's Note: Ok, this one's a little short, and it was a completely unplanned chapter, but I liked writing it! Mostly D/G. Next chapter there will be more R/Hr! Thanks so much to the reviewers of my last chapter (Amanda, lovehearti, and DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva).**

_**Disclaimer: the potterverse belongs to J.K. Rowling and her publisher and Warner Bros. and who ever else owns the copyrights.**_

* * *

"So, Babe," Draco drawled. "Tell me again why we aren't in the astronomy tower snogging right now?"

"Ginny rolled her eyes as the couple meandered down the corridor to the library. "First of all, I told Harry that we were going to the Astronomy Tower." (Draco snarled.) "I don't think he'd try anything, but he still seems a little upset that we're going out, so I'd rather he not burst in on us. But also, I have a little project for this evening."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "In the library?"

"Yes," Ginny answered simply. Draco held the library door open for her, and they stepped in.

"Ok, so what's the project?"

"Well….you know Hermione's spiderbaby thing, right?"

"Yeah. Who would've thought that a Mudblood and a Weasel make a spider?" Draco chortled suavely.

Ginny kicked him in the shins and continued. "Well, Ron just proposed to her, and she said yes. What I want to do is see if there's anything to do about the spiderbaby problem. Plus, the two of us are the best in the school at potions…"

"So you want me to help them?" asked Draco. He sounded hesitant.

"No, I want you to help me help them," Ginny frowned.

"Well," replied Draco, "I'll help you, but for a price, Little Red."

Ginny looked over her shoulder as she reached for a big dusty book. "Oh, really? And what would that be?"

But Draco just opened up the book she had picked out of the stacks. "_The Multifaceted Velenobambino Ragno Potion: A History_, eh? Alright. Reversing the effects, here we go." He pushed the book over to Ginny, with the page open to the prelude to the potion, as well as the complicated antidote.

The prelude went:

_The years have gone, a decade's turned  
Alas my love has still been spurned  
But since your decision's crystal clear  
I'll show you what it is to fear  
Your gleeful ignorance of me  
Will feed your lifelong misery  
A baby born, a baby bred  
A monster's what you'll get instead  
And so your lust shall turn to hate_  
_As nails upon the blackboard grate_  
_And as the potion fast ferments  
I'll show you how true pain dements  
You'll never see his eyes the same  
When you juggle back and forth the blame  
And there would never have had to be  
His pain growing inside of thee  
If you had ever looked my way  
And submitted to my love that day._

She skimmed over the poem, but didn't really read it. She went right to the antidote. When she read the procedure, her eyes bugged out. "This is the most complex potion I've ever seen! And this happened years ago, so the potions effects will be even harder to reverse now. It takes six months to brew it, and we'll have to steal several of the ingredients…"

"Don't worry about that. I'm Head Boy, remember?"

"Well, yes, but why would you risk it for—" Ginny broke off as Draco started to nibble on her earlobe.

"Like I said, my services will cost you," he murmured as he drew light patterns on her back with the tips of his fingers.

Ginny spun around and engaged full-on snoggage. The Slytherin Sex God ran his tongue along her bottom lip when she began running her hands down his tight muscle tee (A/N: Drool….) and just as she was about to deepen the kiss, Madame Pince came out of the shadowy book shelves, with her lantern on, screeching about how the library was closed.

The two ran out giggling, but not before Ginny had ripped out that page of _The Multifaceted Velenobambino Ragno Potion: a History_. She thought to herself, _if I'm going to pay Draco's price anyway, I might as well get a potion out of it_. Then, she giggled some more, and let Draco lead her out into the dark corridor, up to the Head's rooms.

* * *

Meanwhile, after Harry had left Hermione and Ron alone for their engagement night (Harry decided that he really didn't want to see or hear what went on that night), he met Colin and his camera on the Quidditch pitch. After awhile, Harry and Colin sat down by the lake. Colin had put on Harry's pimp hat and laid his camera aside, and the two lay on the grass and looked up at the moon.

"So, Colin," Harry started.

Colin turned to look at Harry, propping himself up on his elbow. "Yeah?"

"Ummm, well, Ron proposed to Hermione tonight…"

"**WHAT?**"

"She said yes."

"Harry, that's great! They'll be so good together, even with the whole spiderbaby problem..."

"Yeah, well, I was thinking...We should really throw them an engagement party."

"Harry, I could kiss you! That's such a good idea!"

Harry blushed at Colin's words, and then Colin too seemed to realize what he had said. They were silent again and looked back up at the silvery moon.

_Oh God, what's happening here? It's just an expression; Colin didn't really mean it_…but then Harry turned to see Colin looking at him with—longing in his eyes? Harry turned to face him and held his gaze. He didn't really know what he was getting into with Colin, but he'd finally decided that he'd let it take him where it would.

* * *

**A/N: So, good, bad? Did you like the poem? Tell me what you think! Please review! **


	11. In Which Harry Fails to Pick a Cake

**Author's Note: Hi, guys! I know it's been a rather long time, but I was in the school play recently, and it took up quite a bit of my time. Anyway, I'm back on track now! I know I said there was going to be more R/Hr action in this one, but practical plot stuff got in the way. Now that's all cleared up, and I'll go straight back to fluff! Enjoy, and PLEASE review! (Thanks to Lovehearti, Xx:ans:xX, and DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva who reviewed the last chappie!)**

**Disclaimer: All official things associated with Harry Potter are property of J.K. Rowling and those who she chooses to sell the rights to.**

During the next few nights, Harry and Colin's idea of an engagement party had come to fruition. The pair had managed to outline a stupendous fête. Of course, as a practical measure, they'd had to include Ginny, which of course meant including Draco. Colin was willing enough to include Draco, but Harry wasn't so sure. Neither, for that matter, was Draco.

They'd planned the party for the coming Saturday, and as it was already Monday, they had a lot of work to do. After a particularly nasty double Transfiguration session, Ginny had assembled the team in the Room of Requirement, where the party was to be held. First of all, the room had to be enormous, because practically the whole school was invited. She swiftly set Colin to conjuring appropriate floral arrangements, set Harry to the cake, and set Draco to conjuring up a bar and arranging the house elves to be waiting staff that evening (of course they would be paid, or Hermione would never go for it). Ginny, upon declaring that she forgot one of her party planning lists in the library, and quickly withdrew from the room and scampered down the corridors.

After a few silent and tense moments in the Room of Requirement, Colin broke the ice. "So, what sort of cake are you getting, Harry?"

"I dunno. I know Ron likes vanilla, but what about Hermione?"

"Hmm, good question, Mate…I know she likes cheesecake, but that's not very good for a big party, is it?"

"She likes chocolate," said Draco unexpectedly. The other two turned around and blinked at him.

"How do you know?" Colin asked.

Draco responded, "It's not exactly hard to guess. All girls like chocolate!" Colin snorted, and after a few seconds, Harry joined in the laughter. Draco mumbled under his breath, "Sheesh, and I'm the straight one!"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing..."

"Alright, listen," Harry said to Draco, "I know we've had our differences in the past, but I'm willing to put them aside for Ginny's sake. I still don't like it, but I'll deal with it. But Ginny is like a sister to me, and if you do anything to hurt her, I'll hex you into tiny bits, throw those bits in a wok, make you into a delicious lo mein, and then sell you to a cheap Chinese buffet, agreed?"

"Well," replied Draco, "that seemed like a rather elaborate and well-thought out plan, but…" Draco thought about it to himself. _I'm on the verge of making peace with Harry Pothead. What has the great Draco Malfoy come to now? But…Ginny does seem to want us to be friends and….well, he doesn't really seem that bad. What harm can it do?_ "Alright, we'll forgive and forget."

**"Faaaabulous**!" cried Colin, throwing his arms around the two.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were up in the Head Girl's dormitories talking about a similar topic.

"Ron, I know that neither you nor Harry like him that much, but I think for Ginny's sake Draco should be invited…" Hermione started.

"Yeah, that's chill. Hope Harry's ok with it though. He has seemed a little weird about the two of them for awhile now, which would be awkward if they're both my groomsmen."

"Your…your groomsmen?" Hermione sputtered. "Ronald Bilius Maximus Alejandro Weasley! Ginny will be thrilled! What a sweetheart you are! Are you really making Draco a groomsman?"

"Well, at least…" he trailed off into a string of embarrassed mumblings, and Hermione threw her arms around him. _Bloody Hell, I guess she liked that! Maybe I can go a step further, even. But Harry will see it as base treachery…but, I mean, Draco seems like a nice bloke…_

_Well_, thought Hermione, _at least Ron doesn't have any Malfoy issues. But even though he seems to be ok with it, what about Harry? I'll have to see what I can do about that._

* * *

Later that night however, Hermione and Ron were surprised to walk into the Gryffindor Common Room to find Ginny sitting on Draco. Well, that in itself was not surprising, but Harry and Colin talking animatedly and amiably to Draco about their favorite Quidditch team (the Bath Bogeymen) and knocking back some butterbeers!

Hermione seemed suspicious of them all, talking so peaceably together, but before she could comment, Ron burst out in speech. "Ahem. I have something I'd like to ask. I've done some thinking and…well, I've decided who I want to ask to be my best man. Harry, you know you're my best mate, but I've decided that since Malfoy here is going to be…part of the family, I should….show him some courtesy. Draco, will you be my best man?"

Draco was, in fact, in utter shock. _Weaselbee wants me to be his best man? Not Pothead…I mean, Potter?_ "I…I'd be honored."

Ron let out a quick grin. "Great!" He turned to Harry, "but no offense at all, Mate. You're my best mate, nothing's gonna change that, Mate! It's just that this should smooth over some family things."

But Harry shook his head, "Don't worry, Mate. I understand."

Hermione added, "But we wouldn't want anyone to be left out. Harry, you can be our ring-bearer! And, Colin, you can be our flower girl…er, flower boy. Is that alright with you two?"

"It's fine," said Harry. In fact, he looked pleased with the arrangements. "Look, you guys. As you can no doubt deduce from the irrefutable evidence that we were easily conversing prior to your entrance, Draco and I have reached an agreement."

"What are you two doing being so reasonable?" Hermione asked.

"Well, Hermione. I guess we figured since everyone's grown up so quickly…"

(Hermione placed a hand over her stomach.) "…it's time to be adults about this. So we've called a truce, and now I'm really pleased about him and Ginny being together!"

"Yeah, Mate," Draco added, clapping Harry heartily on the back. "Looks like we've finally grown up now, doesn't it? I guess we couldn't go on being silly with the new generation already on the way…"

They all looked at each other for a minute. Ron and Hermione and Draco and Ginny and Harry…and Colin. "Everything's going to change now, isn't it?"

"Yes."

_cough_

"Ron, can I see you in the corridor for a minute?"

* * *

**A/N: AAAH! REVIEW, S'IL VOUS PLAÎT! BIG STUFF COMING UP NEXT CHAPTER! WHICH SHOULD HAPPEN SOON, BTW! LOVE YOU ALL Snuggle-wuggle!**


	12. In Which Luna Bends Over

**Author's Note: Hi, guys! It's been awhile, I know. I have the next chapter already, but I'd like to get some reviews on this one before I post it. (I just want to reassure you that I'll post soon. Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter (AirmidM, The Toad, DracoxHermionezTrueLuv4Eva, and HeartiPrincess). Now, prepare yourself for a long chapter, probably the longest so far!  
**

**Disclaimer: All official things associated with Harry Potter are property of J.K. Rowling and those who she chooses to sell the rights to.**

_"Ron, can I see you in the corridor for a minute?"_

Ron followed Draco out into the corridor, "Yeah, Mate, what's up?"

"Well…Mate…" Draco hesitated. He didn't know how to word this. "How would you feel about a double wedding?"

Ron huffed, "Ok, look, Draco. I know I don't own Gringotts like _some_ people, but I can afford my own wedding. I don't need to split the expense with someone."

"No, no, no. How would you feel about a joint wedding. You and Hermione and...me and Ginny?"

Draco waited a second for the words to sink in and was relatively promptly rewarded with "YOU AND GINNY ARE GETTING MARRIED?"

Draco put a hand to Ron's mouth, alarmed. "Shhhh! I haven't asked her yet! She might very well not have me! But if she does, we might as well condense the ceremonies, right?"

Ron looked shocked for a moment, but then broke out into a grin. "Right! A joint-wedding! When are you going to ask her?"

Draco shifted nervously. "Tonight."

"Good," laughed Ron. "Nice to see a Malfoy _uncomfortable_ every now and then."

"Shove it, Weaselboy." They went back into the Common Room with wide grins.

* * *

_Alright_, thought Draco, as he headed to the Head Boy room where he was to meet Ginny. _The trio is ok. The Weasleys are ok. I love her. I'm suave. Here I go._ He said the password quickly and hurried in, where he expected Ginny to be waiting. (He had given her the password weeks ago.) 

His expectations were well answered when he walked in to see her dressed in a black silk negligee, dripping with lace and sequins (that she charmed not to itch), and posed coquettishly on the table. Her flame-coloured hair fell delicately off her shoulders as she leaned forward to pull him towards her by his green and silver tie. Forgetting his resolution to be suave, he leapt at her and captured her lips in a heated kiss. They kissed passionately for awhile, but when she started to fumble with the clasp of his robes, he pulled back. "Ginny…" he started.

Ginny looked at him questioningly, "What is it, Draco? You seem…_uncomfortable_."

_Curse these Weasleys_, he thought. "I…I have something to say to you, that I would rather say before we go any farther tonight." Ginny started to interrupt him, but he said, "Shh, let me say my bit. Ginny, I know we've only been together for a little while, but…well…you're the only witch I've met who's worthy of being a Malfoy. I love you. Will you marry me?"

"I…I….I'm a Weasley!" Ginny spluttered.

"Well, yes, but that isn't an answer, you know," Draco replied, his anxiety mounting. _Is she going to reject me based on family reasons?_

"Well, if you'll have a Weasley, a blood-traitor, friend to the 'Golden Trio', befreckled—"

Draco cut her off, "beautiful, kind, pureblood witch? Yes, I would like one of those very much."

Ginny smiled, "Then….how can I say no?"

Draco couldn't even speak, he was so happy. He simply resumed their previous snog and slipped a ring from his pocket onto her left index finger before she pressed him back onto the table.

* * *

Breakfast found the six of them, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Draco, and Colin, at the Gryffindor table chatting away. Ron looked at Ginny and Draco, holding hands on the table, talking animatedly with Harry and Hermione, who was starting to show a little bit in her pregnancy. "Draco, Mate. Looks like things went well?" 

"Ahem, yes, actually. We should tell everyone. Ginny and I….are engaged!"

"AHHHHH!" Everyone at the table (except Ron who was very manly) shrieked in delight.

"That's so exciting, guys!" Hermione gushed. "When are you going to tie the knot?"

Draco and Ginny looked at Ron expectantly. "Well, Hermione, Draco asked me if we could have a joint wedding with them…would you…?"

"Ronald! You should have consulted me! I cannot believe you sprung this on me! Don't you have any compassion for my nerves or for our unborn child?" Ron spluttered, but she continued. "But of course! Draco, Ginny, this will be lovely! A joint-wedding! I can't wait!" She ended with a shrill squeal and a tug at Ginny's hand to see the ring. They compared their rings for a minute while Draco and Ron shook hands.

Harry leaned over to Colin and whispered, "Might be great for them, but we're the ones who have to change all the party favors!"

* * *

The end of the week brought Harry and Colin to the Room of Requirement very often, and _most_ all their time there was spent decorating. First, they expanded the room to fit a vast amount of people. They placed a very large lighted dance floor in the middle, in front of a raised platform from which Harry, acting as Master of Ceremonies, could good-naturedly heckle the two young couples. They hired (or Hermione would have a fit) most of the school's house elves to serve the various tarts and fizzy drinks they were planning for the party. An elegant butterbeer fountain had been conjured in the corner of the room, near the DJ table where Colin was prepared to crank out some beats. 

They had invited everyone in the school (including the teachers), but hadn't told them why they were coming. The couples would announce their dual engagement to the world that night. The softly-lit room was finally ready for its debut. Harry and Colin had told the two couples to come down at half-past seven. (They had abandoned the pretense of a surprise after Draco and Ginny had become objects of the party.) The rest of the school started to slowly file in, dressed in their dress robes, as the invitation had said.

Luna was one of the first to arrive, dressed in a flame colored dress, with tiny plastic stegosauruses hanging from her ears and arranged neatly in her hair. Bizarre, as always, but very fetching, indeed. She said hi to the pair and said she'd check the room for droozles and wurkacks before anyone else showed up. ("That would be so embarrassing, if they saw any!") She left to go accomplish her task, just as Blaise Zabini poked his head in the door. He straightened his jacket and walked over to the hosts.

"'Ello there! I hear you two chaps have been Slytherin-approved," he said. Harry and Colin bristled, but Blaise just laughed. "Only joking! Glad to be here!" He paused and looked over at Luna, who was bending over in the corner, presumably securing the area. "Who's the pretty thing in the corner?"

"Luna Lovegood," Colin said, with a quick smiling glance at Harry.

'Well, I should go and say hello…" Blaise said as he meandered in her direction.

More and more students were filtering in, some teachers too, the butterbeer was flowing freely, and soon the party was in full swing. Harry had already sung "I Will Survive" and "Baby Got Back" for the crowd of dancing youngsters but was saving the crème de la crème for when the four fiancés descended.

Finally, at 7:30 on the dot, Ron and Hermione stepped into the entrance way holding handsand the room went quiet. Draco and Ginny then appeared beside them. They smiled at their crowd and walked towards the stage as Hogwarts began to erupt in applause for them.

Harry cleared his throat and took center stage, one pair on his right, the other on his left, and said, "I have an announcement. We are here to celebrate two very special occasions: the engagement of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger." Harry paused until the applause died down. "And also the engagement of Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley!"

Many of the faculty members dropped their jaws at this pronouncement. Unfazed by this, the four came down from the stage, where the crowd cleared off the dance floor for them. As Colin flipped the record and began the song they had chosen as their own, each bride-to-be slipped their arms around her lover's neck, and each groom-to-be grasped his fiancée's waist.

_Would you dance if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run and never look back  
Would you cry if you saw me crying  
Would you save my soul tonight?  
_

_Would you tremble if I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh oh please tell me these  
Now would you die for the one you love?  
Hold me in your arms tonight?_

_I can be you hero baby  
I can kiss away the pain  
I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away_

_Would you swear that you'll always be mine?  
Would you lie would you run away  
Am I in to deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care; you're here tonight_

_I can be you hero baby  
I can kiss away the pain  
I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away_

_Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
Well I don't care; you're here tonight_

_I can be you hero baby  
I can kiss away the pain  
I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away.  
You can take my breath my breath away._

The song ended with two spotlights on two couples and two very heart-warming snogs.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! The more reviews, the sooner I put up Chapter 13! Btw, the song was "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias.  
**


	13. In Which Lucius Gets Moody

**Author's Note: Here it is, guys. Chapter 13. Thanks to the people who reviewed the last chapter (DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva, AirmidM, and LuvMeTender). **

**Disclaimer: Anything official related to Harry Potter is the intellectual and legal property of J.K. Rowling and anyone she has sold or given the rights to (i.e. not me).**

As the engagement party came to a close, the two couples were anxious to leave. It seemed as if every teacher in the school wanted to talk to them. Some of it they were grateful for. For example, Professor McGonagall said that since they were getting married she could trust the four of them to live together in the Head Boy and Girls' rooms. She also said that she'd add two dorms on so that they could each have a friend move in. This was her engagement gift to them, and they thought it very generous.

But on the whole, the teachers were just being tiresome. "So, Miss Weasley, what makes you think you can handle a Slytherin, when in fact, you couldn't handle the Egregious Gregarium potion last class?" Snape drawled.

"Curious, isn't it? And yet I always _handle_ Draco so well," she replied coldly.

Blaise and Luna were the very last to leave, Luna with her dress only half-zipped and Blaise with a plastic stegosaurus clamped tightly in his teeth. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the six friends before Luna yanked him out the door.

"Well," Harry said, watching them leave, "looks like everything turned out well. What was McGonagall saying to you earlier?"

"Oh! She said that the four of us could live in the Head rooms and that we could each bring a friend. Presumably there will be four rooms, but McGonagall must know that at least some of them will be…co-ed." Hermione giggled and continued. "So we need to pick our friends!"

Ron immediately said, "Harry."

Ginny, chimed in, "Colin!"

Hermione thought about it for a minute and then said, "Luna, I think."

Draco raised his eyebrows at her choice but then broke into a smile. "Blaise."

"I guess we should tell them about this arrangement tomorrow, when they're not…occupied."

* * *

Draco sat at the Slytherin table that morning with Blaise. 

"Hey, Blaise. I have a proposition for you."

"Mmm," Blaise said through a mouth full of treacle.

"McGonagall gave Granger, Weasley, Ginny, and I permission to live in the Head rooms together, and we can each bring a friend to live with us. Would you like to live there with us?"

"And why would I want to live at the epicenter of a Gryffindor shag-a-thon?"

Draco snorted. "Hermione's friend."

"You know me too well! Who is she? Someone scrumptious?"

"You seemed to think so last night…Luna Lovegood!"

"Yes! I'll definitely move in! Y'know, Drake, the name says it all. Love good!"

Draco chuckled, "I'm happy for you, Mate, but why her?"

Blaise suddenly and uncharacteristically looked a bit sheepish. "I've…I've always had a thing for dinosaurs…"

* * *

Hermione's conversation with Luna went similarly and soon they were all settled in, Ron and Hermione in one room, Draco and Ginny in another, Luna and Blaise in the third, and Harry and Colin in the last, together by default (sorta). All the rooms were conjoined with a cozy common room, kitchenette, and breakfast nook. 

Suddenly, Ginny gasped. Draco flew to her as she said, "You realize what we've forgotten!"

Everyone just sort of looked at each other. They couldn't think of anything.

"We haven't told our families!" Ginny cried.

Draco, Ron, and Ginny looked panicked, but Hermione, with a pointed look at Ginny and Draco, just said, "Well, I already sent a note 'round to my parents. They were thrilled, although they needed a bit of convincing about the spiderbaby. I imagine the problem will be with you two."

The troubled pair looked at each other with stricken faces. "Will you come with me to The Burrow?" Ginny asked Draco. Draco nodded, still ashen, and Ginny continued. "And I'll come with you to the Manor."

"No!" Draco cried.

"What? Why not?"

"My dad….gets….moody sometimes."

Ginny paused at that, but then nodded and turned to Ron. "You'll come, too, yeah? Butter them up?"

"Ok," Ron said. "Should we go there first, and then Draco can deal with his…issues?" Everyone mumbled their assent and put their cloaks on. Hermione quickly made a portkey, and soon the unlikely octet were zooming to The Burrow at lightning speed.

* * *

Molly's hands flew up in surprise at the horde of people represented in her living room. "Hello, dears! To what do I owe the pleasure? Shouldn't you be at school?" 

"Mum," Ron stepped forward, taking Hermione's hand in his. "We wanted to tell you the good news! Hermione and I are getting married…"

"AHHHHHH! I thought it would never happen!" Molly shrieked in joy and ran up to kiss the two on their cheeks. "Congratulations, my loves! Oh, happy day!"

"There's more, Mum," Ron said. " 'Mione's pregnant."

"Pregnant? That's fantast—uh-oh! P-p-pregnant?" Molly stammered, concern washing over her kind features as she remembered that fateful day in Ron's childhood. "Ron….does she know?"

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione jumped in. "I know. And we're….ok with it."

Mrs. Weasley smiled hesitantly, but then more confidently. "Well, then. Is there anymore good news?"

"Actually, Mum, there is," Ginny said as she stepped forward. "Draco and I are…now, please don't yell, but Draco and I are...getting married as well!"

Mrs. Weasley took a step back. "Draco? Draco?" Draco stepped forward from the throng and put his arm around Ginny's waist.

"Yes, ma'am. Draco Malfoy."

"I-I-I….I don't know what to say. A Malfoy, Ginny? This can't be what you want…" Mrs. Weasley started.

"Ma'am," Draco interrupted. "I know that our families haven't always been the best of friends, but I am not my father. More importantly, I love your daughter and…she seems to love me. With all due respect, we're getting married either way, but we'd like to have your blessing."

"I….well, yes, of course you have it. Oh dear, my two youngest married! I have to floo your father!" Molly scurried off.

Harry let out a low whistle. "We're cool now and all, Mate, but I thought you were going to have a hard time of that. It doesn't make sense; how come no one seemed disconcerted by you two except for me?"

Ginny and Draco just looked at each other. "Because you're a prat, Harry. Just teasing, but actually you're right. That was easier than I thought it would be," Ginny said. "I think the Ron-and-Hermione bit really pleased her first."

"Somehow, I don't think this next part will go as smoothly," Draco grimaced. "I'm off to the Manor. Please make my adieus to your mum, and I'll see you all back at Hogwarts in a bit." Upon saying that, he disapparated with a pop.

* * *

Appearing just as quickly as he left, Draco landed with grace in the main parlor of the Malfoy Manor. _Now, where's Father?_ He set off to search his father's wing, and promptly found him in his study. 

Stepping into the room, he was flooded with bad memories. The rusty shackles on the gray stone walls, the rack of canes and paddles hanging from the heavy oak door filled him with dread of this newest confrontation. The wide-backed leather chair wheeled around to reveal Lucius Malfoy, as blond as his son but with hair twice as long.

"Ah Draco, how goes it, old boy?"

"Very well, Father. Thank you."

Lucius paused for a moment, as if waiting for something. "Well? Why are you here, then?"

"I've come to tell you of my engagement," Draco said slowly.

Lucius rose from his chair at an equal pace. "Engagement? To whom?"

"Ginny….Ginny Weasley, sir."

"A WEASLEY? A Weasley to wed MY son? To bear MY name?'

"Yes, sir."

"A blood-traitor? The daughter of slime, herself? The offspring of all that we have hated, all I have raised you to distrust and despise? Your mother will faint upon hearing this; your ancestors will cry, and your DNA will writhe with the torture you are imposing on yourself. She is—"

Lucius's rant was cut off with a quick, hard slap to his face. He looked in astonishment at his son. "I won't have you speak that way of her!"

"Oh!" Lucius sneered, colouring. "Well, then, what can you possibly have to say on her behalf?"

"Only this, that she is the witch that I love, a PUREBLOOD, and a far better person than you will EVER be……sir," Draco spat in contempt.

Lucius sat back down and looked at his son for a good minute. "Very well."

"Very well?"

"You may marry the wench, but I may have to beat you."

"I am of age. You cannot beat me anymore!"

Lucius sighed, "Fine, I'll beat your mother then."

Draco's eyes bugged out as the air in the room thickened with uncomfortable silence. Then Lucius broke out into a grin, "JUST KIDDING!"

"W-what?"

"Just kidding. Ginny Weasley, eh? That's great! She's quite the little hottie, from what I remember."

"You practically FED HER TO THE DARK LORD! What do you mean she's a hottie?!"

"Pish tush, that was just business, Draco. The whole Weasley-Malfoy feud was. A ruse! Tell you what, why don't you and Ginny take the Manor, and your mother and I will take the house on the Riviera?"

"I…Wh….Thank you?"

"Don't mention it, old boy! I should have the Weasleys over for tea then. Drinky!" A small knobbly house elf appeared. "Send an invitation for tea over to the Weasleys post-haste!"

"Yes, Master."

Draco was still recovering from Lucius's volte-face when the elf left. "Umm, goodbye, Father. Thank you again."

"No worries, Son! Congratulations."

With that, Draco disapparated and reappeared in Hogsmeade, completely puzzled and shocked as to his father's reaction.

**A/N: Submitting a review isn't too much to ask, is it? **


	14. In Which Draco Has a Witty Comeback

**Author's Note: Ok, so if anyone's afraid this is becoming a D/G fic….well, you might have reason to worry (teehee). But I'll do my best to keep it Ron/Hermione for the most part. This scene just needed to be taken care of. The coming parts are pretty much all RHr. This is another unplanned chapter that just seemed like a good idea. Thanks to all who reviewed (Pyrana, Alexis Dunmire, AirmidM, Amanda, Dracoxhermioneztrueluv4eva, Hearti Princess, and Dandin).**

**Disclaimer: The Potterverse belongs to J.K. Rowling and her publisher and Warner Bros. and who ever else owns the copyrights.**

* * *

  
Draco reapparated to the Leaky Cauldron and swiftly made his way to Hogwarts. His father was so….bizarre this evening. He expected Lucius to be difficult, ornery….him!

Draco had spent as little time at the Manor as possible after the war, opting to spend the summer at Blaise's Italian villa. He had read in all the papers that after Lucius's lengthy Azkaban stay, he had publicly apologized, said he'd changed his ways, but Draco had known him too long to have believed it of him. Not again.

But on the other hand, Azkaban was said to change people. Maybe Lucius really had repented. Surely there was no other way to explain his relatively easy acceptance of a Weasley into his family.

It could've been a fluke, but Draco didn't think so. Either way, he'd owl his mother tonight, and he was glad to be getting the Manor. That, too, was an unexpected product of the night. He stepped up to the Head Boy and Girl Room portrait, said the password, _Otto Amanti_, and went inside.

Blaise and Ron were sprawled out on the couch playing something called a "GameCube" that Hermione had brought in with a special muggle-adapter. Harry and Ginny were playing some wizard chess (Ginny wasn't as good as Ron, but she was still more than a match for Harry, so it seemed.) Colin and Luna were making a Witch's Weekly collage to prepare for the weddings, and Hermione was curled up in the corner with her new copy of Stunningly Gorgeous: Defense Against the Dark Arts for the Modern Witch. 

_Well_, Draco smirked, _some things never change_.

But as he looked at his seven friends—five Gryffindors, two Slytherins, and a Ravenclaw living peaceably and happily together—well, it was just something he thought would never happen.

He was shaken from his reverie by Ginny looking up from her chess game with a frown. "Oh, Draco…..you look upset. How did it go?"

"Ginny, you have no idea," Draco started.

Hermione looked up from her book. "That bad?"

"He…he…he…" Draco stuttered.

"Mate, he can't beat you anymore. You're of age now. You should go to the Ministry," Blaise frowned.

"No, no, you don't understand," Draco managed. "He…gave us the Manor!"

"WHAT?"

"He gave us the Manor. He seemed okay with it all. He said Ginny was a...a…a hottie!"

"Hey, I'm not sure he can say that about my sister…"

"Oh, pipe down, Ron!"

* * *

Amidst all the excitement, Draco managed to usher Ginny into their room. Completely unsurprised by this detour, she deftly swatted away a kiss and asked him immediately, "Did you get the goods?"

"You mean the ingredients? Of course." He pulled a small pouch from inside his cloak and spilled its contents on the foot of the bed. He moved in for another snogging attempt, but again he was foiled, this time with a swift sidestep.

"Draco, have I ever told you how glad I am that you come from a long line of evil wizards? The darkest thing we have in our family potion stores is dandelion root!"

"Well, father does like to keep the Manor well-stocked…" Draco murmured as he poured some rare salamander eyelashes into the blossoming Velenobambino Ragno potion bubbling in the cabinet of the side table.

"Was he really okay with us?" Ginny asked, scooping the rest of the ingredients off the bed and dropping each vial back into the pouch from whence it had come. "Really?"

"I know, Ginny. It's weird. You wanna know something even weirder? He's invited your parents over for tea!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ye gods!" Ginny gulped, "They're going to tear each other apart!"

"I don't think so, Ginny. They both seemed genuinely okay with it. Maybe it'll work out better than we thought. In any case, we'll have this sucker," he said, pointing to the potion, "done in two months. Right on time for the wedding...Our wedding."

"And hopefully on time for the baby."

"Of course it will be on time for the baby; it won't even have been nine months…"

Ginny sighed exasperatedly, "Draco, how many spiderbabies have you seen born?"

"None."

"How many spiderbaby births have there been ever? In the whole world?"

"None."

"So what makes you think that their gestation period is nine months?"

"I…I…..well, you're a whore!"

Ginny scoffed and finally submitted to his kiss and more than that, while their roommates carried on unaware in the common room.

* * *

**A/N: Please review!!!!**


	15. In Which Hermione Sounds a Battle Cry

**Author's Note:** Wow, I'm sorry this is so long coming. It's been a busy quarter at school, but today was the last day of classes so I'm all ready to devote my time to this, my first love. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter (Dracoginny4eva, DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva, AirmidM). Kind of a short one...mostly dialogue, but I hope its ok. Actually wasn't a great chapter to write, but it had to be done.

**Disclaimer: **The Potterverse belongs to J.K. Rowling and her publishers and Warner Bros. and who ever else owns the copyrights.

* * *

The sun was beginning to rise on the main boulevard in Hogsmeade. Some unseen desperado was puffing ominously on a harmonica down an alley as, one by one, the shopkeepers walked out onto the street, still rubbing their eyes of sleep, to raise their wands and lift the wards on their stores so that customers could enter. A tumbleweed rolled across the avenue, past the swinging double doors of Baroness Beatrice's Bridal Boutique. The harmonica faded out in alarm, as six pairs of heavy feet planted themselves just outside the shop.

A raspy voice cut through the dusty morning air, chilling the employees of the shop to the bone, "We're coming for you. Ready or not….."

All of a sudden, the doors burst open, and there, amidst a beam of dawn's early light, stood Hermione on the left and Ginny on the right, hair flying back in a breeze that seemed to come from their fierce determination alone (because there certainly wasn't any fan blowing). They were flanked by Harry and Colin, each looking excited and stalwart and each holding a thin leather strap, that led to the other two of their party. Ron and Draco followed behind in makeshift leashes, looking terribly resigned and miserable.

"Alright ladies, it's time to shop!" Ginny called, and with a wild war cry from Hermione, the six made a mad dash towards the bridal dresses. Well, at least four of them did. Ron and Draco sort of hobbled behind.

"How about this one, Gin?"

"No, the neckline is gross."

"What do you think about THIS one, Harry?"

"Naw, the fabric doesn't work with Hermione's skin."

"Ok, Gin, what about this one?"

"Are you kidding? You could see my knickers straight through that thing!"

"Like you plan on wearing knickers anyway…"

"Like you EVER wear knickers..."

"Hey, put that one back, buster. This is a wedding, not a Mardi Gras dance!"

"Harry, is this dress my color?"

"Yeah, but that designer's a total ho."

"Wait, are you guys really gonna wear white? I think we all know you're not virgins."

"Shut up, Colin. This one's kinda nice."

"But do you really believe that you can find a pair of shoes to go with it?"

"Good point. Hey, I have a philosophical question for you—can flip-flops ever be classy?"

"Well, that really depends on the situation…"

Meanwhile, Ron and Draco were dying. All the girls had needed was their credit cards. That's all. But when they had suggested this to their respective sweethearts, they had gotten almost identical "You-are-an-integral-part-of-this-wedding-and-you-are-not-slacking-off-on-this-one" speeches. And still, they had not budged. They remained as resolute in their reluctance as the girls and gays were desperate to shop. But, due to the simple fact that the numbers were against them, they had each been slipped into their leashes after hefty threats and distractions.

And there they were. Dying.

And suddenly the air was torn with the piercing cry of someone who had found the perfect dress—THE dress. Everyone in the store wheeled around to see Hermione waving it aloft. Harry, Colin, and Ginny gasped as they turned to gaze upon it.

It was gold and white with light scalloping on the scooping neckline, and the top half was cut as a peasant blouse with the shoulder straps falling on the apex of her shoulders, and the dress flowing out into several layers of a sheer white gauze that floated around Hermione to hide her pregnancy and fell to her feet, all caught up in an empire waistline gathered right below her bosom in a light gold ribbon. The gauzy bottom half of the dress is decorated with intricate gold lace patterns, swirls and fleur-de-lis. It was beautiful and suited Hermione perfectly, from the loose nature of the cut to the addition of gold (pure white would've just been flat out ironic).

Even Ron begrudgingly looked up from his stupor to admire it for as long as he could get excited about a dress and then dropped his head again (but it was really the thought that counted right?)

Shortly after, Ginny found one of her own. A pure white (let her mum think she was pure) strappy number, silken and shining, falling straight and simply down to the floor in a puddle near her feet. The back laced up with white ribbon and the spaghetti straps tumbled into a slight cowl neckline in the front.

Draco, slightly more appreciative of the finer things than Ron had been, told her it looked lovely on her, which it did, and tried to look interested, which he wasn't really.

"Gin-baby," he started. "Ron and I, well, we're men of action. We like to do things like…play Quidditch and fight things and drink butterbeer. Would you mind terribly if we popped down to Madam Rosmerta's?"

"No, not at all, Draco. You two can fill out the invitations while you're at it."

"Invitat….Ginny, we were just gonna get a drink…"

"Oh, but you're men of action, yeah? Here's the list of names and the stack of cards. I got them professionally printed and charged it to your Gringotts vault, so I certainly hope you enjoy them."

Resigned, Draco went to leave with Ron, when they were both snapped back.

"Oh," Hermione said. "Harry, Colin, will you take their leashes off?"

Harry and Colin unhooked them and the other two wizards raced out the door as fast as they could.

"Good call, mate," said Ron. "Better paper than dresses, eh?"

"Do you think the Cannons game is still gonna be on the wireless at Rosmerta's?"

"I dunno, mate. Here's to hoping!"

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it was so short. I think it was kinda boring too, but you know a wedding doesn't just happen by itself! Stuff has to be done! Anyway, review and tell me what you thought! 


	16. In Which Colin is Propositioned

**Author's Note: Wow, it's been almost four months….my bad. Senior year is a total bitch, and it was a busy summer, but ENOUGH EXCUSES! On with the story. The next chapter, I think (this is subject to change) will be the wedding, so this is just letting everyone know where the couples stand. But first, thanks to my lovely reviewers: Princessenr1, Downwardsane, Pyrana, and DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva. Please keep it up!**

**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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"Ginny, I think my arm is about to fall off," Draco whined.

"Draco, you know as well as I do that it's important to stir the potion 532 times clockwise, and then thrice counter-clockwise, so shut up and keep stirring," Ginny replied, rifling through various wedding plans that Harry and Colin had sketched out for her. Their shared room was old-fashioned, hung in silver and gold, looking for all the world as if it had come out of a Muggle highland romance novel.

Draco frowned down into the cauldron which, like many cauldrons, was full of bubbling goo. "At least it's almost done."

"And not a moment too soon, either. The wedding's in a week." She looked up at her loverboy, button-up shirt open, hot and steamy in the potion fumes. "You know, I've always wondered why Hermione didn't take the trouble to look this potion up herself. Or why Mum and Dad didn't for Ron…"

"Maybe it was just too enormous a project for them," he smirked suggestively as he stirred. "But it seems you're always up for a….big one." Draco glanced up into her lust-filled eyes. Looking down again at the potion, he pointed his wand at it and said "Pausius!"

Then, he pounced on her with a grin, spilling fabric samples everywhere.

* * *

As far as pouncing was going, Harry was confused. There were four bedrooms in their little dormitory. One was Hermione and Ron's, one was Draco and Ginny's, and a third had seemed to be claimed by an even mistier-than-usual Luna and a completely-psyched-looking Blaise. This left Harry and Colin in one room together. 

It had never even occurred to Harry that he might be gay. While he wasn't accustomed to sharing his aunt and uncle's prejudices, he had been raised in a household that wouldn't tolerate even the mention of "poofs," "nancies," homosexuals.

But now in close proximity to Colin in their room, spending all their free-time together preparing for the wedding, with all their friends pairing off, Harry was beginning to feel the love. In fact, he was almost sure of it, but he really didn't know how to go about doing anything about it. Chatting up girls was strange enough.

These were Harry's thoughts, as he lay on the slim scarlet bed, lightly-muscled arms flexed above his head, when Colin walked in and flopped down on his own bed.

"You know, Mate, the other three rooms have huge-ass king size beds, and we have these suckers," the yonger boy mused playfully. "Always trying to bring the gay man down, aren't they?"

"Er……" was all Harry could reply.

Colin mistook his unease and looked almost disappointed. "I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean you. I meant me. The gay one."

He stood up to leave the room, but before he put his hand on the knob (wink wink) Harry called out to him. "Colin, wait." Colin looked at him and Harry looked back and blue met green like a big gay ocean of love. "I'm the gay one, Colin."

"Pardon?"

"I'm the gay one…well, _a_ gay one….a gay one, _too…_.a gay one, _also_, not a gay _1-2_…oh, this is just a mess!" Harry spluttered.

Colin grinned, "Oh…so, you think you can take my title of 'Token Gay Guy' from me, Mr. Potter?"

The Mr. Potter in question looked up at him rather sheepishly. "No, I won't take your title from you….but I could take something else…if you'd like…"

"Harry Potter, are you propositioning me?" Colin's eyes widened into a big smile, as he raised his wand to attach their two beds together, forming a single king size mattress. "You remember your second year, Harry? Lockhart's Valentine's Day disaster?"

Harry looked confused. "Yeah, Malfoy took the mickey out of me for Ginny's—"

Colin smirked as he lowered his body seductively over Harry's on the bed, "Ginny didn't send that valentine."

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"Ronald, for the last time, we are not naming our spiderbaby Wulfric!" 

"But it was one of Dumbledore's middle names! Lupin would like it! Wulf-ric? Like WOLF-ric? Come on! It's funny!"

"Ron, NO!"

"Well, what about Batrick? We could call him Bat or Batty for short. There's this muggle comic about a man who is a bat, I don't know, the twins like it—"

"NO BATRICK!"

"…..Well, how about just Rick, then?"

"AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGH! Ronald, if you're not going to take this seriously, I don't know how we're going to live together, ever," Hermione, who was showing quite a bit, fumed.

"It's not my fault you couldn't tell a great name if it bit you in the arse," Ron pouted. Hermione threw her arms up in disgust and started to stomp her way to the bedroom. Sighing, Ron followed her a few seconds later to find her cute face, looking not a little bit like that of a mandrake. "Hermione, come on, the wedding is a week away. Let's not fight."

Hermione looked up at him with resentful eyes, "I love you Ronald, but I don't have to like you right now!"

Ron blinked at her for a second, and then leaned in for a deep kiss. "Yes, you do." Hermione sighed and relaxed into the kiss, unable to resist the red-haired god in front of her, and she whimpered when he broke away for just a second to whisper "Consider, though, how well Batrick rolls off the tongue…."

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**A/N: Thanks guys. Sorry it's short, and sorry it's been forever, but this is the best I can do for now. Please review!**


	17. In Which Neville Has Seconds

**Author's Note: Whaddya know? Less than two months! I'm on a roll here, people! Not gonna lie, actually, I'm really losing steam with this story. No one is reading, no one is reviewing, and I really don't blame anyone, because I have little interest in it myself anymore, but I feel like I should finish it, because I would hate to leave it unresolved on principle. So here goes. This chapter won't be particularly witty or clever, but it's necessary. Bear with me, please. Thanks to the two people who did review, DracoxHermioneztrueluv4eva and mamasboy.**

**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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Finally, the big day had come. The thick British fog draped over the snowy canopies at the Burrow like elegant silk sheets, and the rustic and picturesque exterior of the grounds managed impressively to hide the madness within the house from view.

With each passing second, another trivial catastrophe came to light, but for the most part, the inhabitants were cheerful and flushed with the best sort of anticipation. Harry and Colin, as ring-bearer and flower-boy respectively, had donned their fabulous purple tuxes, and bustled around, conducting the steady flow of traffic in and out of the tall, crooked house, all the while casting clandestine loving glances at each other.

Ginny and Hermione, while caught up in their own happy endings advancing quickly before their eyes, were not too busy to notice the difference between the two men. They gave each other knowing looks, as Colin and Harry finished each other's sentences while supervising the application of the brides' eye shadow.

Draco and Ron, after some resolve-stiffening gulps of firewhiskey each, spent most of the morning dwelling in maudlin accounts of how it seemed like their friendship had just started, and here they were, nearly-married men.

"We're so young, Mate. Our whole lives ahead of us."

"Yeah, Mate….but they're great girls."

"True enough, true enough….Hey do you remember when Ginny gave you that Bat-Bogey hex?"

Blaise and Luna were present, preparing to be a groomsman and bridesmaid respectively. They seemed very comfortable with each other, and even introduced their parents to each other. Zany Xenophilius Lovegood and posh femme fatale Zabini looked as if they couldn't fathom the existence of the other, but neither seemed to object to the young couple, which was enough to make Blaise and Luna happy.

Mrs. Weasley, meanwhile, was running around frantically, overseeing all the baking and trying to welcome each guest graciously as they came in, but only managing to disconcert them due to her completely frazzled appearance. Mr. Weasley greeted them with a more relaxed manner, and with the help of his three eldest sons, he ushered the Malfoys, the Grangers, the Creeveys, Mrs. Zabini, and Mr. Lovegood to seats of honor, and dispersed the various tribes of the large Weasley and Prewett clans over the rest of the seating area.

Fred and George Weasley were trying on their official robes, as they were to marry the two couples. They had, out of sheer curiosity and goofiness, decided a few years ago to become ministers through this three-step mail-in program. (Five galleons for a minister, fifteen for a bishop!)

After a great deal of panic and dressing and eyes catching each other across rooms pulsating with a vast herd of exuberant relatives, everyone was seated in time for the ceremony to begin. The twins stood in front of the congregation in their tall, sleek hats looking very enthusiastically at their copies of Marrying People for Dummies. Ron and Draco stood in front of them, both very dashing in new black dress robes, and waited almost without breathing for the music to start and the grand entrance to begin.

They didn't have long to wait before Colin emerged out of the French doors leading to the Weasleys' backyard, shooting flower petals swiftly out of the tip of his wand. Once the clouds of petals had settled, Harry emerged with the rings, and Blaise and Luna came behind him, arm and arm, to take their places on either side of the platform. Finally, Mr. Granger, came out with Hermione on his arm. She was showing quite a bit by this point, but Ron thought that this didn't diminish her beauty, just changed it subtly. Now, she was glowing, and it managed to fill Ron with a warmth and possessiveness he hadn't figured existed outside of bad romance novels. She took her place by Ron as he took her hand in his.

Mr. Weasley then came out, with Ginny by his side. Draco's breath caught in his throat. She really was perfect for him, elegant and fiery and so incredibly sexy. She floated down the aisle looking up at him through her eyelashes, smiling in a small but confident way. She, too, took her place next to her groom and everyone looked expectantly at the twins to begin.

"Dearly beloved, ummm," Fred began unsurely, riffling through the pages of his manual. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the littlest male Weasel and the prettiest Muggleborn—"

"Ickle Ronnie and the Bookworm—"

"Head Girl and Head Prat—" Ron and Hermione both glared fiercely.

"—the union of Ronald Bilius Maximus Alejandro Weasley and Hermione Emily Granger," George amended. "Do you, Hermione, take Ron to be your lawful, wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And do you, Ron, take Hermione, to be your lawful, wedded wife?"

"I do." Harry reached over to hand Ron the ring. Ron held Hermione's left hand and slid the ring over each finger, starting with the thumb, until it reached its final resting point atop her engagement ring on her ring finger.

"We now pronounce you wizard and wife. You may kiss the bride!" Hermione and Ron smiled at each other, and then leaned over to give each other a hearty kiss. (Fred and George struggled admirably against their natural inclination to gag.)

After a similar touching ritual for Draco and Ginny, the twins brought out some no-heat, wet-start fireworks. They lit up the sky as Hermione and Ginny threw their bouquets over their heads and into the hands of Luna and Colin. Luna dropped hers straight away ("Eeek! Nargles!") and Colin blushed and refused to look at Harry.

The guests were feasted, the dances were danced—Molly and Lucius amazed the crowd with a rousing jig. Finally the night was coming to a close, and just as the last piece of cake was served up to a rather sheepish Neville (who had already had a rather large slice), a cry rent through the air.

"Someone call the Knight Bus…the baby's on the way!"

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**A/N: Please review! Unless all you wanted to tell me was that Hermione's middle name is Jean. I know. It's a shout-out.**


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